A Phone Call

28 Jan A Phone Call

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How long do you hold a grudge for?


On December 1st, 2011, my prized-possession, a black Skyline, was stolen from me. The dickheads that did it broke into my apartment, took my keys (my mate’s laptop, too) went down to the “security” car park, got in my car, and drove away.


It might seem lame, but it was pretty devastating at the time.


Not only had my car been taken from me, but along with them invading my house when we were all home asleep (yeah, super creepy), now my mode of transport was gone.


What ensued were the months and months of dealing with the real estate, the landlords, the cops, the locksmith, the insurance companies, and eventually, the hassle of looking for a new ride.


It was pretty shit. The people that knew me back then knew how much it sucked to me. But, it’s just a car, right?


Fast forward.


So anyway, three years later and just a couple of days ago, a detective phoned me at 9pm.


He informed me – whilst also confused at why it took so long – that they had found a match with the fingerprints to the person that took my car.


The detective gave me the choice of either filing a statement against him – with the possible situation of him claiming “not guilty” and us all ending up in court – or just doing nothing about it.


It was a hard choice. One that I definitely have never had to make before.


But, I thought, is there even a point putting energy and time towards this?


I mean, if I break it down, someone broke into our place, took possessions that we had bought from our money, and made us all go through the annoying aftermath.


But does any of that even matter so long after?


The reality.


How long is normal to hold a grudge for when someone does something that affects your life anyway?


How long do YOU let things stay awkward between you and your friend when they do something that upsets you?


How long do you hold a negative outlook towards someone when they screw you over?


How much energy is put towards things like this in life?


Too much, I think.


The things that keep you up at night, the things that make you replay situations over and over in your head trying to (re)solve them. Is any of it worth it?


How often can something be changed when you have no power over the situation?




Life is way too short to hold grudges and let things destroy things like your mood, relationships, or even your work environment.


When it comes down to it in my situation, the possessions that were taken from us were just that – possessions.

Something we humans have created to mean something.


And, just like anything in life, how we think of something or towards anything, is created solely by us.


We have the choice all the time, and I mean, every single time anything happens to decide how we’re going to react to it.


You’re upset about something? Face it. You’re upset at someone? Face them.


The longer you hold off on facing these things, the longer you build up that negative energy that really isn’t worth any of your time.


“Change yourself – you are in control.”

Mahatma Gandhi.



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Hayden Perno
Hayden Perno